| Location | Ware, Hertfordshire |
| Age | 0 |
| Date of Birth | 25/10/2006 |
| Date of Death | 25/10/2006 |
| Visitors | 1,826 since 26/03/2007 |
| Creator |
Quaid Davies
25th October 2006
Heart Defect
You were born asleep, my perfect Son
as I cradles you in my arms the Angels did come,
and sung a lullaby as they took you away,
up into Heaven were you'll grow and play.
Now with wings of your own so tiny and white
God Bless my perfect angel
sweetdreams, Night Night.
Love you always Mummy xx
I'm 25 and have always wanted to have children but for some reason growing up I always thought i wouldn't be able to, so when i fell pregnant when i was 23, i was shocked but very very happy, but i only knew i was pregnant for 2 days before i had a miscarriage at 3 months, i was devastated. I thought my thoughts were now finally coming true, but the doctors told me that i was fine and most women lose their first baby!!
So when i found out i was pregnant for the second time, i was over the moon but very frightened of the same thing happening again, but i got past the 3, then 4 months, then i thought this is going to be ok, got to 5 months and still everything was ok, went for my anomally scan but the midwife could not see all of my baby's heart chambers, but told me not to worry, their was nothing wrong it was probably because of the way my baby was laying, she commented on how strong my baby's heartbeat was and to come back in 2 weeks!!!
So 2 weeks later, i return for my scan with my mum, very excited because i was going to ask what sex my baby was, so as i lay on the bed and the scan starts, i felt alittle uneasy but the midwife said she is just concentrating, about 5 minutes later she says to me "Zena i'm terminating your scan, your baby has died". I was totally stunned, my mum is screaming "you have it wrong" along with uncontrollable sobbing, I ask the midwife for a second opinion, i told her "i don't believe you", but another midwife came and confirmed that my baby had died. I was 5 & 1/2 months pregnant.
The midwife took me and my mum into another room and told us i need to go to hospital because i still had to have my baby, so that afternoon (i couldnt face going as soon as i found out), i was given a tablet to start my labour off and was told to come back in 32 hours, so finally on wednesday 25th October 2006 at 8.30am i went into hospital and was given a second tablet, by lunchtime still nothing so as given another tablet and i was finally in full blown labour, i had my mum, Henry my baby's dad (even though we was not together) and one of my best friends Sarah and my Aunt Denise with me.
After 5 & 3/4 hours my beautiful baby boy was born at 6.32pm and i called him Quaid.
I had Quaid with me all night, got to cuddle him and letting him go was the hardest thing i will ever do in my life, but i'm very lucky, i have a fantastic mum who's always their for me and amazing friends that are always their for me too.
I buried my son on the 1st November 2006, he is now in the child's section of my local cemetry and i go and see him everyday, going up the cemetry you met other people who have lost children and you know they understand where you are with your feelings and thoughts.
Two months after Quaid was born i had to go back to the hospital to get all the test results back as to see why he had died, i wanted to know but in a way i didn't either, but all my son's results came back clear, his heart chambers didn't fuse properally and that is why he died.
It's very hard to take, and i will never be the same again, but i'm lucky i have such good friends and family for support, but if i had to choose between my son suffering and being here with me or me suffering because his not here i would and will always choose to suffer, so he never has to.
A Birthday In Heaven - by Kris Smith
I heard you crying yesterday,
And felt your heart-sent love.
So I’m sending you this message
Now, from Heaven up above.
You’re wondering if I’ll celebrate
My Birthday (way up here).
I know you’re missing me today
I feel your essence near.
God planned a special day for me,
He told me with a wink.
He’d ordered me a special cake
(It’s Angel food, I think).
Balloons will fill the streets for me,
They float up through the clouds.
And we have lots of friends up here
That make us laugh out loud.
There is a Birthday carousel,
Jewelled horses ride the wind,
With music playing, oh so sweet…
The magic never ends.
I’ve made so many friends, you see
We laugh and play and sing.
We ride our bikes and play the fool
And sleep in Angel’s wings.
But we don’t blow out our candles here
Instead, they light the skies.
With love from your little Angel xxx
Born Still - by Unknown Author
Do you know how hard it is
To hold a baby who doesn’t cry?
Do you know how hard it is
To tell that baby Goodbye?
Do you know how hard it is
To look at an empty bed?
Knowing your child should be there
Resting her sleepy head?
Do you know how hard it is
Feeling you’re to blame?
And no matter what they tell you
You'll always feel the same.
Do you know the heartache
Knowing she's gone for good?
And feeling that you didn't
Do all the things you could.
Do you know how hard it is
To hear that it's Gods will?
Do you know the emptiness
When your child is born still?
Unfortunately we do!
To The Child I'll Never Know - by Gloria Dianne
How can I say Good Bye
When I never said Hello,
Why does my heart grieve
For the child I'll never know?
You were a part of me
For just a little while.
I grieve because I'll never see
The magic in your smile.
I grieve for all the unsaid words
That you will never say.
I grieve that I will never see
You happily at play.
I grieve for all the lullabies
That will remain unsung.
I grieve because I'll never see
Your face gleaming like the sun.
I grieve because you will never know
The comfort of my touch.
I grieve because you will never know
That you were loved so much.
I grieve for all the tomorrows
That will never be.
I grieve because God chose
To take you back from me.
You live among the Angels now
Your earthly mission done,
You will be so dearly missed
Good-Bye my little one.
X X
so sorry for your loss
i was so touched when i read about Quaid and understand how devastated you must have been. my daughter had to make a very difficult decision following her 20 week scan and she copes the same way as you, she chose her own suffering rather than her babys. stay strong our thoughts are with you and your familyxxxxxx
So Sorry for your Loss
Can I just say what a lovely tribute this is for such a lovely boy, Quaid will be so proud to call you his Mummy, I am so sorry for your sad Loss, I am sure he will always be watching over you, My little boy was born asleep at 38 weeks, so I do understand how you feel it is the worse thing in the world to lose a little one, take care, my love sent to Quaid and my thoughts to you, love Nicola X X X X
Darling Quaid,
I had the pleasure of being their when you were born, and although it was the saddest day of your Mummy and Nannys life I can honestly say their was more love and warmth, in the room when you came into the world than anything I have ever experienced, cause thats what you brought love and warmth darling.
I will never forget your rose bud lips, Mummy and Nanny are doing just fine I will make sure of that .
Sweet Dreams Angel. Love Auntie sarah Uncle Dion, Chloe and Liam xxxx
so sorry
my sincere sympathy to you and you family ,your story truly touched me, stay strong ,your little angel will be watching over you always
A poem to my Grandson
Nanny's perfct angel, as precious as gold
were my proudest moments, when i had you to hold,
if you ever need me, i'm not far away,
just call your nanny, if you want to come and play,
but one thing you must remember, your never alone,
until I hold you again my angel heaven's your home.
Love you always Nanny xx
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